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calendly - email


31 years old, male, kinsey 2


Leaning very strongly toward wanting kids

Type of Guy

Zest for life / high hedonic setpoint, really into epistemic cooperation in the sense of strong injunctions against manipulation/witholding (as well as all the other "believing true things is hard" stuff), my "golden rule" / kantian intuitions run very deep so many asymmetries are on thin ice.


Woman, romance, spouse, housemate

In Berkeley CA

Unclear where to buy house / raise kids, though, and willing to travel a bunch for the first few months of dating a serious primary/coparent candidate.


Swoonworthy traits

Irony is poison. I admire anyone who's above average in earnestness.

barbenheimer openwater

Reach out

  • Email:
  • Calendly:
  • Would love to pivot to signal > sms > element/matrix > telegram > some mutual slack we happen to both be in after a brief exchange (I'm avoiding discord, I don't whatsapp or messenger)

Openers / conversation menu

  • How to threatmodel asymmetriees in romance: like agency, intensity (energy, voice volume), your favorite big five trait, status/prestige, IQ, libido, etc.
  • Affection styles / love languages
  • Your (least?) favorite failure mode of "Radical Honesty" -adjacent practices
  • How you think about the poly vs monog question
  • One of your "strong view weakly held" current childrearing beliefs/strats that you want my help to double check as a research project.
  • Assembling furniture with someone: is this inherently horny behavior or dependent on context?