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To exploit various “adventuring in groups” buffs, becoming unstoppable and legendary

My demographics

29 years old, male, kinsey 2, polyamorous

Seeking

Woman; cofounder for childrearing projects; spouse; housemate

Also seeking

Women; romance; intimacy; friendship

In Philadelphia

Open to certain distancey arrangements (details at bottom)

My notion of intimacy (emotional/interpersonal)

Swoonworthy traits

Irony is poison. I admire anyone who's above average in earnestness.

My notion of intimacy (physical)

  • Cuddling a whole lot
  • Drive-by hip-pinches
  • Eye contact
  • Pointing at you from afar and making a silly face
On various redacted R-rated things

I have a lot of personalities (i.e. separable classes of preferences), none of which have deal-breakers in mind. But I estimate that I'm 1.2 to 1.8 standard deviations hornier than most of the people I know well. Preferences/kink list upon request.

Testimonials

"...Wow what a lad. Such a cool and friendly and calm dude"

An ex of mine has reported that I'm really gung ho about the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Informative anecdotes from my life

I read the MIRI research guide when I was 24 and abandoned everything I had dumped my life into up till then and dove into math and CS, because I thought AI alignment looked reasonably easy (narrator: AI alignment was not reasonably easy).

For the plausible coparents

Not very useful for readers who don't want kids

I'm not super in a rush, but I would prefer to be systematic and reveal information about our mutual fit in a clever and efficient way. I'm probably willing to try nesting after knowing someone for about 6 months, unclear how long I want to nest with them before childrearing however.

One slice of my expected parenting values

Humans need to be able to own their consequences and pick what hills they'd like to die on in order to cultivate agency. For this reason, I think 1. school needs to be approached cautiously and rigorously; and 2. we need to thread a needle where we help our children follow through on projects without it turning into us projecting what sorts of projects we'd like them to be doing. That said, I would like to find out how to raise second-generation transhumanist altruists without various "indoctrination"-related failure modes.

Another slice

Leonard Bernstein, speaking I imagine about orchestral or broadway productions, said "to accomplish great things, two things are needed: a plan, and almost enough time". I expect to have almost enough time (i.e. readiness) to parent, to do any of my other goals, and I've worked to cultivate heuristics around when perfect should or shouldn't be the enemy of the good. I also avoid appealing to normal distributions, I avoid looking at the world and saying "look at all the people in a way lower percentile of such n such virtue or trait than me seeming to do alright, surely I can relax", because I don't like to impose an upper bound on my standards.

On how many

I'm inclined toward more than one kid because someone made an intuitive argument that the marginal cost of each additional kid declines. I have begun an estimate of this argument (you can plug-and-play your worldview by substituting some input parameters), though it may be buggy, miss too many considerations, or provide information that's an order of magnitude less valuable than our emotional state after the first child would be.

On biology

I'm reasonably confident that bio-fathering is as good or better than rolling the dice at the sperm bank (in terms of my assessment of my family's disease and IQ history), but I'm not married to it. I am interested equally in arguments for embryo selection and in arguments for adoption: I think conditional on a partner feeling strongly about one of the two, the probability they'd convince me is a little over 80%.

On polyamory

If you don't want kids

I expect to invest bandwidth in serious relationships with non-childrearing partners.

I skew a lot toward public knowledge, I would never agree to a "don't ask don't tell" framing of polyamory. Open to discussing what exactly the expectations or obligations should be, but definitely want an agreed upon policy (whatever that might be) and don't want to ad-hoc everything all the time.

Logistics/contact

Distance constraints for people who don't want kids

For people who don't want kids, I am not interested in relationships across an excess of three hours ground transport at this time. In other words, anywhere from DC to NYC is fair game!

Yes, willing to periodically fly for plausible coparents

A long distance trial with plans to nest to test mutual fit for coparenting is open to a radius of about five flight hours, with a naturally higher bar for people further away.

Prediction markets

I will attempt to reach out to everyone who is nominated on my Manifold Market. You're encouraged to self-nominate on Manifold before emailing me but it is not a requirement.

Assume a low bar for reaching out

Do say hi even if you don't see us working, I'm ok with talking to random people.

Partial fits

I basically assume that about 60-75% of criteria needs to match for someone to be worth dating / checking to see if we can take on ambitious projects like childrearing together, but you shouldn't let your self-assessment of how well you fit this dating profile get in the way of reaching out (many people even think that humans are incompetent at designing selection effects intentionally, which in spite of writing this I put nonzero credence in).

  • Email: quinnd@riseup.net
  • Discord: quinn#9100